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Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2009 10:09:47 GMT -5
Most people don't realize it but Florida is known for wildlife and much of it lives very close to people. When you live here, you learn how to keep them at a safe distance. We have things like pigmie rattle snakes. They are about one foot long and they are just as deadly as full grown diamond backs. We have spiders like the Brown Recluse. If they bite you, without quick treatment, your body will start to rot from inside. We have Bobcats, Pumas and a full host of other dangerous things. The other day, I saw a dead baby wild pig, that the vultures were eating.
Tick Tock really is a ten foot alligator who lives in a large open storm drainage area just behind our house. We named him after the alligator in "Peter Pan" who was always trying to catch Captain Hook. Whereas you don't see him every day, he is most active at night. Sometimes at night, when I'm sittting in the screened in arera out back, I hear him and can see his eyes looking at me. He always keeps his distance but he is a wild animal and I respect him as such. It's against the law to feed alligators or to harm them, unless they attack you or your pets. So we just leave him alone. He comes and goes as he wants. He has never given us, or anyone , trouble. But we always keep a lookout for him. I guess it''s just the price you pay for living in paradise.
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Post by tbgalileo on Mar 2, 2009 15:40:41 GMT -5
I guess I'm just a total weenie, but if I came outside and found a 10-foot alligator looking at me, I'd probably just sh*t myself and scream like a little girl while I ran away.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2009 18:52:03 GMT -5
A few years ago, Stephen and I were looking around for some real estate investment property. We were looking at a house overlooking a canal. As we walked out back, Stephen said " Oh look, somebody left a tacky plastic alligator on the grass"  All of a sudden, This alligator, that was larger than Tick Tock, got up, looked at us and simply ran into the canal. He was running one way and we were running the other!!! Actually, they are more afraid of us than we are of them. Still, they arre pretty scary so it's best to give them plenty of space. |
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Post by burner on Mar 4, 2009 2:24:50 GMT -5
Most people don't realize it but Florida is known for wildlife and much of it lives very close to people. When you live here, you learn how to keep them at a safe distance. We have things like pigmie rattle snakes. They are about one foot long and they are just as deadly as full grown diamond backs. We have spiders like the Brown Recluse. If they bite you, without quick treatment, your body will start to rot from inside. We have Bobcats, Pumas and a full host of other dangerous things. The other day, I saw a dead baby wild pig, that the vultures were eating. |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 4, 2009 7:59:47 GMT -5
Hey Burner, you have an open invitation to come to visit. But only if you can put a Bowie Knife in your mouth, jump into the water, kill Tick Tock, and make Bear and I a pair of alligator shoes with a handbag to match!!!  |
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Post by tbgalileo on Mar 4, 2009 9:26:57 GMT -5
<= Dials PETA
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Post by TheBear on Mar 4, 2009 13:05:12 GMT -5
Uh oh... does that mean my lust for new alligator boots and bag are out?  (that rascally old...) Bear ________________________ |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 4, 2009 18:01:35 GMT -5
Hey Tbgalileo.
One winter day, just before we moved to Florida, I was standing on the corner of 57th and 5th waiting for the light to change. I was wearing a fur coat and I happened to notice a young tacky looking woman waiting for the light, accross the street from me. She had a small paper bag in her hand and I had a feeling she might be trouble. Just before the light changed, I saw her reach into the bag like she was trying to unscrew something. She was looking right at me and I went into cop mode.
When the light changed I shouted at her, "Bitch, whatever you've got in that bag had better be a sandwich because I'm going to make you eat it." With that, she turned around and went in the other direction.
Peta had better stay away from me if they know what's good for them!!!
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Post by tbgalileo on Mar 4, 2009 19:15:24 GMT -5
Hehe.. of course, the PETA reference was just for laughs. I absolutely don't take those folks seriously.
That reminds me, I think I'll fire up the grill tonight for some steaks... mmmm.......steeeeeeeaaaaaaaks.....
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Post by burner on Mar 5, 2009 2:38:00 GMT -5
Carroll, really now. Can you really picture me with a Bowie knife in my mouth, jumping in the water and playing Tarzan? Play WITH Tarzan, maybe...but that's another story for another day.
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Post by alarmallama on Mar 5, 2009 11:24:59 GMT -5
Hey Tbgalileo. One winter day, just before we moved to Florida, I was standing on the corner of 57th and 5th waiting for the light to change. I was wearing a fur coat and I happened to notice a young tacky looking woman waiting for the light, accross the street from me. She had a small paper bag in her hand and I had a feeling she might be trouble. Just before the light changed, I saw her reach into the bag like she was trying to unscrew something. She was looking right at me and I went into cop mode. When the light changed I shouted at her, "Bitch, whatever you've got in that bag had better be a sandwich because I'm going to make you eat it." With that, she turned around and went in the other direction. Peta had better stay away from me if they know what's good for them!!!  Oh my god - my stomach hurts from laughing. Between this story and the one about you grabbing a machete and chasing off some gay basher in Jamaica you would think that people would know not to mess with you by now... |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2009 13:35:16 GMT -5
Hey Alarmallama. The name of the game is ACT CRAZY!!!!  When they step out of line, make them think you're going to kill them, their mama, and anybody else that gets in your way. As a gay person, we're supposed to be passive and weak. We're supposed to be the butt of humor, the clown, the punching bag and the perpetual victim of heterosexual verbal assaults. Trust me, they're never ready when one of us, instead of running, turns the tables on them and provides them with a classic Rikers Island beatdown. Actually It's really lots of fun!!! |
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Post by alarmallama on Mar 7, 2009 0:39:24 GMT -5
Hey Alarmallama. The name of the game is ACT CRAZY!!!! When they step out of line, make them think you're going to kill them, their mama, and anybody else that gets in your way. As a gay person, we're supposed to be passive and weak. We're supposed to be the butt of humor, the clown, the punching bag and the perpetual victim of heterosexual verbal assaults. Trust me, they're never ready when one of us, instead of running, turns the tables on them and provides them with a classic Rikers Island beatdown. Actually It's really lots of fun!!! I totally agree with you - there are bullies and predators out there who love to try to intimate, harass and attack those they perceive as weaker than themselves. If turning on the crazy is the only thing that will get them to back off, that's what you have to do to survive. It's like James Brown once sang "I don't know ka-rate but I know ka-razy!" |
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Post by 1dbigjim563 on Mar 12, 2009 15:34:00 GMT -5
Crazy was always the best tactic on the New York Subways back in the day. Just act a little crazy and everyone would not leave you alone, but also move away from you, openning up some primo standing room, if not an actual seat.
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