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Post by burner on Jan 23, 2013 1:53:33 GMT -5
The suspense is killing me.
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Post by TheBear on Jan 23, 2013 9:17:28 GMT -5
Not to sound like a gossip columnist or a loose lipped twit but I just heard that a fairly newly formed group is in serious danger of imploding. And it boils down to the same old apathy and other reasons that other groups have either folded or exist only on paper. What a shame. (Clip...) I wish I knew more about the dynamics and sociology of why some groups succeed and others atrophy and die. I agree with Tommy and have long noted and agreed with Carroll's lament that if there were just a small part of the enthusiasm and effort going into service and professional groups such as GOAL that goes into F**K FEST gatherings, the bar scene, etc., success would be achieved. I have just returned from the annual Fiesta de los Osos (Party of the Bears) organized and presented by BOTOP (Bears of the Old Pueblo) in Tucson, AZ. It was a resounding SUCCESS. And, this was the TWENTIETH year for the event. Yes, it is mostly a 5-day social event (at a resort hotel) but with well-organized and attended tours, an opening luncheon, a grand banquet, a masquerade contest and party (this year's theme,) followed by a marvelous dance, two BBQs, a successful hospitality suite, a profitable vendor support (sales) room and a feeling of excited JOY, camaraderie and genuine pleasure of a "gee, I'm glad I came here" feeling in/among everybody. It was the first year at the particular hotel and the hotel staff was having so much FUN that, by the second day, hotel staff was coming in off-duty on their own time just to see/be around and mingle with the bears! I heard many staff comments such as "we had no idea so many well-behaved AND fun gay men existed. Who knew?" The hotel manager told me personally that a contract has been signed through 2015 between BOTOP and the (airport Holiday Inn) and he and his management crew are excited and can hardly wait for next year! From the viewpoint of the hotel, he summed it up by: the bears were more respectful (to hotel staff,) less trouble, better tippers - and a LOT more fun - than any other group he could think of that has ever been at the hotel! Yet, Tucson BOTOP is more than just a social organization. We (yes, I am a member) support efforts for Tucson's LGBT homeless youth, AIDS prevention/education... i.e. efforts of responsible community outreach. Being a "bear" is more than (often being) big-eaters and fur; being a bear is a matter of attitude. One of acceptance (and celebration) for the majority who are not slim 20-somethings. One of my personal mantras I often express is "bears don't have much of a tail... but I am certainly wagging mine!" (over the enthusiastic experience in BOTOP (weekly, monthly and the yearly Fiesta) events. So, what is the difference? BOTOP and Fiesta de los Osos is not a young-and-pretty frat house wild f**k fest. It is a gay social/community service organization that WORKS... and works with enthusiasm, including some young-and-pretty otters, along with emeritus polar ursines (moi.) Group officers and event organizers have their act together... and club participation includes a lot of wild tail-wagging by those who come from all over the country year after year. When the host hotel staff can't wait for us to come back, that says something. Why can't gay LEO organizations (looking at you, GOAL NY) achieve a similar level of positive outcome? Just my thoughts, because I agree with Carroll... If LGBT LEOs could generate the excitement for our organizations/efforts that are apparent in other gay venues, we could have them beating down our doors to get in on the action too! Thoughts... anybody?... crickets?... ideas?... In the mean time: I am serving Power Bar Cookies in the BluePride break room (coz I want every LGBT cop, EMT, fire - the whole rainbow of professions - to be active participants in BluePride too!) Bear _______________.
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Post by bluepride on Jan 23, 2013 16:42:47 GMT -5
Sounds like you had a great time at a well run function! It would've been even more fun if I was there! ;D But with this situation......I can tell you it's not New York. I'm not going to give up my source here but let's just say someone reached out. My hope, again, is that everything works out well and the group survives and thrives. It is mind boggling that the formation and the lives of these groups are so willy-nilly these days. Myself and a lot of others gave our blood, sweat and tears to help get the earliest groups off the ground. How can people take these groups for granted as has happened over the past 15 years or so. Not every group by any means but there have been too many that folded because of apathy, ego, ineptitude and laziness. Like I've said before....I guess things are so great in some areas of the country that these groups are no longer needed. But just wait till some sh*t hits the fan. The members who lead to the downfall of these groups would be screaming from the rafters that they're being discriminated against and are being targeted and all of the rest of the "excuses". Let's hope for the best and hope they continue and are of service to our GLBT community of LEOs and not let petty feuds and laziness and any other reasons for folding get in the way.
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Post by TheBear on Jan 23, 2013 20:39:25 GMT -5
Sounds like you had a great time at a well run function! It would've been even more fun if I was there! ;D (Clip...) But with this situation......I can tell you it's not New York. (Clip...) EVERYONE was missing you, BluePride. You were sorely missed. BTW... in reference to bear groups being accepting of all, regardless of age, size, ability/disability, picture this... I was even invited by a couple bears to "dance" on the dance floor at the masquerade party. My dance partner even took my paw and "twirled" me in the wheelchair! Talk about acceptance and accommodation for differences! About GOAL, I realized you were not addressing GOAL NY. It's just that I have been personally disrespected and lied to by A.M. when she was head of that group. Such people with runaway egos and personal agendas also disrespect YOU, Tommy, ... and Carroll and so many who worked so hard to bring together a mutually beneficial effort and legacy for all LEO GLBTs. Bear ________________.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 24, 2013 12:16:33 GMT -5
I know that GOAL Michican is having trouble. Their president told me so. He is very upset that there is a lack of participation with the members. Nobody wants to do the work needed to keep the organization afloat. He is ready to step down over this issue. That would be a shame because he is the driving force in keeing things going. I told him that 2 percent of the people, in these organizations, do 90 percent of the work. It's a shame, but that's the way it is. I'm trying to get him to accept this and just get on with the work we have to do. All he needs is a small group of dedicated people around him and things will get better. in the meantime, California has some ongoing problems as well. Florida Legal is doing ok. The new president has hit the ground running. He has a great vice president and Charles Slebodnick is still their "no nonsence" treasurer. They will be fine. Plans for the next conference are going at a slow pace. So far, they have six confirmed workshop presenters and they are shooting for at least fifteen. Alll organizations, including GOAL New England, have ups and downs. There are some people that are trying to create another organization along with the existing one. It really makes me mad when I think how our enemies are far to numerous to count and here we are fighting among ourselves. It's time they all grow up !!!
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Post by TheBear on Jan 24, 2013 20:41:23 GMT -5
GLAD to hear MY Florida LEGAL is rockin' along! Interesting to hear about California. I wonder if this will impact the 2013 Conference in Vegas? Even though group rates at the Luxor are good, attending these events is NOT cheap.
once I submit my dissertation in June, I had planned on driving around the country from July to December, including being in Vegas in September for the Conference. Unless there is good enthusiastic support for the event, what is the attraction?
In the past, I have reached out to GOAL groups to be available as a volunteer assistant or to be a workshop presenter. GOAL DC and Florida LEGAL are the only two organizations to respond to the MANY times I sent email messages, made calls and tried to get involved. Carroll has reached out to me several times and has been both a treasured friend and a superior organizer of events. I've given workshops and Invocations/Benedictions at several events. Yet, other GOALs never even bother to answer my calls even as I was hopping up and down to get involved as a volunteer. I'll attend the sign-in desk, I'll stuff envelopes. I'm happy to do go-fer work.
But, Carroll can't do all the organization work and now, after all these years, has "retired" (at least from the major responsibility... Carroll's heart and fingerprints will always be involved in any successful effort.) And I, after eight years of trying to get involved, am finishing school and going to be directing my volunteer/professional efforts to advocacy, consult and support to hospice groups who DO appreciate my help!
As Tommy points out, apathy is the cancer of many a group. So, is California going to step up to the challenge?... or should I not bother to hurry back to Nevada (Vegas) from Toronto where I will be in September? Just wondering.
Bear _________________.
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Post by burner on Jan 25, 2013 2:29:42 GMT -5
I know that GOAL Michican is having trouble. Their president told me so. He is very upset that there is a lack of participation with the members. Nobody wants to do the work needed to keep the organization afloat. He is ready to step down over this issue. That would be a shame because he is the driving force in keeing things going. I told him that 2 percent of the people, in these organizations, do 90 percent of the work. It's a shame, but that's the way it is. I'm trying to get him to accept this and just get on with the work we have to do. All he needs is a small group of dedicated people around him and things will get better.... I don't know the issues in Michigan so I cannot comment. But to keep an organization going I think it takes leadership, not just a leader. It takes making participation worthwhile, even when major "problems" are not hot-button issues. It takes making attendance interesting, rather than just making attendees inanimate scenery backdrops for the leaders to talk to, not talk with. And it takes grooming others to be able to take over the reins and keep the organization going when the time comes.
I joined GOAL NY under Carroll's leadership and under him, Tommy who succeeded him, and even Tommy's nemesis and successor, Edgar, attendance and interest generally remained high. With the Carroll/Tommy Tag-team show I don't know who gets the credit for the various things that kept it so, but these included outside-the-box social events, not just the "usual" Holiday party stuff: - Group trip to Puerto Rico? Ski weekend at BelleAyre? Then there were the more-often-than-not invitations to someone of interest to be a guest speaker at meetings who would draw members in. And, of course, there was the no-holds-barred taking on the NYPD over issues that others simply groused about but accepted. And let me not forget suing the Puerto Rican P.D. as well...and winning.
True, the last two were "of the time" and can't be manufactured by a leader to keep the troops involved. But Edgar followed through in the early years of his administration with the provision of invited speakers. He also came into office with an agenda, which he set forth in the first issue of the newsletter published after he assumed the presidency, and it required to establishment of various committees to pursue. He didn't just appoint "the usual suspects"; he did outreach to all members, seeking volunteers and actually going out and asking people specifically to work on a committee when not enough volunteers came forward. While some leaders sulk and moan because nobody offers to help, Edgar recognized a common denominator in the general membership of most organizations: People are sometimes lazy, some are afraid they can't handle the assignment (or that others can do it better than they), and some just aren't paying attention - but when you go up to them and ask, specifically for their help, you get it! And getting people involved in committee work, no matter what kind, gets them to feel like more than just a cypher in the organization. This, in turn, helps develop leaders for the future because they feel themselves to be a part of it, and want it to survive.
Bottom line, the existence of organizations such as GOAL, of LEGAL, or others similar, is to be there to aid, assist, help their members in time of need, specifically but not exclusively with on-the-job issues. But to be there at those times it must maintain the energy and interest of its members during the quiet times; it cannot rely upon spikes in interest raised by the cause célèbre of the day.
Sadly, too many so-called leaders of our organizations are in it for themselves, not for others. They're there to burnish their own resumé, to get into a position to rub elbows with those who can help THEM, to enjoy the "freebie" dinners available when the organization buys tickets to support the other fraternals (as the others buy to support them). And they tend to get their under 80 IQ cronies to join them on the Board so they will have little or no opposition, no one to question their acts or their motives. No one to rock the boat. And the ones who lose are the members. And the organization withers.
And I've droned on long enough, so I'll close (I can hear the applause already) with the following:
Carroll, before your friend in Michigan - who seems to be in it for all the RIGHT reasons - decides to step down in frustration, perhaps you should try giving him a wake up call (and suggestions) rather than just a pat on the back and commiseration. I admit...hell, EVERYONE must admit...nobody has the 36-hour-a-day energy that you have and have had since the day I met you, but you also have a way of persuading others and energizing THEM. Use it (that's a request, not a command - I KNOW better!)
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Post by Deleted on Jan 25, 2013 11:43:46 GMT -5
Thanks for the tips Burner. you have a way of helping me focus and I apapreciate it. I'll give Michigan a call today, before It's too late, and see what we can do. Bear, fear not. The California chapter is not presenting the September Conference. Legal International is presenting it this year. California always sends a large block of officers, mainly from the Los Angeles county Sheriffs Office, but they also come from LAPD and all over the state. We also expect the name numbers of participants from all over the country as usual. AND HONEY, YOU CAN BET WE'RE GOING TO ASK YOU TO DO THE INVOCATION, BENEDICTION, AND A WORKSHOP !!! We might even ask you to bake batch of cookies !!! (White chocolate macadema nut if you don't mind !!) The workshop coordinator will be getting in contact with you.
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Post by TheBear on Jan 25, 2013 13:25:58 GMT -5
Aw garsh! Thank you, Carroll. I wasn't fishing for an invitation... just perhaps a little validation. I have always been amazed at how many LEOs attend the Conference from California. Still, they are almost ALL from SoCal (southern Cal, L.A. area.) CA is a big state. I live 750 miles NORTH of L.A. and it might as well be Pluto as far as GOAL or LEGAL or anybody is aware. I know better, I suppose, but I'm almost of the opinion that I am the ONLY gay LEO/CJ man in all of NorCal. Years ago, I remember reading an article that the Chief of Police in Amsterdam West - OOOPS - I mean San Francisco, had stated in a speech to some group that there were NO gay officers in the San Fran PD. The reporter noted that "there was a doubting 'titter' that ran through the audience." However, as far as visibility or outreach or anything I know of, nobody in any NorCal LEO LGBT group (are there any?) has ever reached out to me. It's as if the flat earth ends at the SF city limit... and I, living 450 miles north of SF, am indeed in a galaxy far, far away. OF COURSE I would be delighted to participate in the 17th Annual Conference. Truly, I am happy to do the back-room work (origami folding of napkins, fluffing of Carroll's boa... the essential back-room stuff.) Still, YEAH!, if you would like me to do a workshop / invocation / benediction - any of those - I am pleased to do it (Bear gets out the brasso to shine up his halo) . OH... and, ABSOLUTELY we shall have fresh COOKIES! Your wish is my command, Carroll... white chocolate macadamia cookies it shall be! BTW... being that I am researching and writing my dissertation on Health Issues and the Healthcare System As Perceived and Experienced by Elder (age 50+) LGBTs, how about a workshop on Talking with your Doctor: Healthcare Issues for LEO/CJs who are age 50+ or those who someday will be. ? Being a licensed psychiatric nurse and soon completing my MPH in Public Health, I am well aware of some of the unique health issues that LEOs have with communicating with doctors/nurses and the healthcare system. Due to "cop culture," LEOs are notorious for "stuffing" emotions and not communicating important information about what's going on regarding their health. A workshop can address that. Okay... Cookies are now being served in the BluePride Break Room... Bear _________________.
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Post by bluepride on Jan 25, 2013 16:11:21 GMT -5
Frank, I think you went a bit overboard regarding my so-called nemesis. In his first newsletter there was a long laundry list of mostly unrealistic things he wanted to somehow accomplish. It was like throwing sh*t at the wall and seeing what would stick. Also he went willy nilly with the rules and refused to let some board members do their jobs resulting in resignations and a faction of black members to walk out on him. Things were so mismanaged (remember the ice sculpture incident?) that it wasn't too soon before the entire Executive Board quit, leaving him as the only board member. Remember? I do.
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Post by burner on Jan 26, 2013 6:17:37 GMT -5
Frank, I think you went a bit overboard regarding my so-called nemesis. In his first newsletter there was a long laundry list of mostly unrealistic things he wanted to somehow accomplish. It was like throwing sh*t at the wall and seeing what would stick. Also he went willy nilly with the rules and refused to let some board members do their jobs resulting in resignations and a faction of black members to walk out on him. Things were so mismanaged (remember the ice sculpture incident?) that it wasn't too soon before the entire Executive Board quit, leaving him as the only board member. Remember? I do. When you're trying to encourage interest and participation, and of 20 things you throw against the wall, 5 stick, that's five more than what our more recent "leaders" have accomplished. His shortcomings notwithstanding, and there were many, at least he tried. Many of his initiatives I disagreed with, and much of what went down in the second year of his term could fill a book. Of course I remember. But still I have to give credit where it is due.
In the context of what Carroll was alluding to, i.e. a chapter tettering on the brink of disolution due to lack of interest and participation by the membership, I was merely pointing out that past leaders in GOAL helped keep it together by thinking outside the box. That's what it takes. Some initiatives "stick", some are really OFF the wall and do not. But to do nothing, to try nothing, is a sure way to court - well, to court exactly what we've seen happen here in NY since George stepped down in 2007.
I could make a political analogy here, that you may nor may not agree with. After the "leadership" we've had since Clinton left office, I'm becoming nostalgic for Richard Nixon. So, too, with GOAL. After the leadership it's had for the last five-plus years it's not difficult to say that I'm almost nostalgic for the years your nemesis was in office.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2013 10:54:09 GMT -5
Just wanted to let you folks know that Cole Bourke has decided to step down as pesident of Miichigan GOAL. The new president is the former vice president James Simms. I know James very well. He's with the Michigan Departmentf Corrections and he is highly respected in the law enforcement community. James has participated in many of the conferences and has presented workshops on several occasions in the past. This year, he will be presenting a special workshop called "Preventing Prison Rape". James is a powerful asset to Michigan GOAL and he will be working closely with Legal International in the months to come.
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Post by bluepride on Jan 28, 2013 14:53:25 GMT -5
I'm really sorry to hear that he stepped down. And, sorry to say, I don't hold out hope for the group's future. He was/is a class act. Maybe I'll be proved wrong. If so, I'll gladly stand corrected.
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Post by TheBear on Jan 28, 2013 20:06:48 GMT -5
I'm really sorry to hear that he stepped down. And, sorry to say, I don't hold out hope for the group's future. He was/is a class act. Maybe I'll be proved wrong. If so, I'll gladly stand corrected. He IS indeed a CLASS ACT. Years ago, it was he who made a special effort to engage me in conversation at the first GSPOA event I attended. I didn't know a soul. This man introduced me around and made me feel welcome. Later, because I am disabled, he took special effort to be sure I got back to the hotel safely when I had to walk across an open field from a restaurant where many of the group had dinner. Socially and professionally, the man has been an advocate for LGBTs and LEOs over several years. I HONOR him and THANK him for his service. Bear __________________.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 31, 2013 9:13:06 GMT -5
Sorry guys. I made a mistake. I talked with James Simms, from Michigan GOAL, last night. He said that he did not want to become president when Cole stepped down. As a result, he will remain in the vice president position. The new president of Michigan GOAL comes from the TSA. He's a very nice person who I met when I flew to Michigan to join GOAL in the Michigan gay pride parade. Sorry for the mix up. More info to follow.
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